I present to you, the official Flight Wife list of why pilot wives rule. In no particular order, here’s why we are awesome.
1. We get shit done.
When things break or go wrong (as they inevitably do) and our pilot is gone, we fix it or get it fixed. We are the ones who call the shots and we are the ones who get the messes cleaned. We are experts at navigating through obstacles, and can solve any problem that comes our way. We are efficient and well-organized, because we have to be.
2. We are flexible.
Change of plans? Not a problem. Pilot wives are the epitome of flexibility. We are used to canceled dinners, late flights, and rescheduling due to cancelations. We know how to roll with the punches, even while managing a full schedule. And while we might bitch about it, deep down we get a sense of satisfaction knowing that we can handle it.
3. We are independent.
Whether it’s taking our kids to birthday parties or get-togethers, we can show up and look great even without our better half. We know how to run the show and make executive decisions on the spot even when our pilots can’t be reached because we know we can handle it. We can juggle parent-teacher conferences with play dates and girls’ nights out. Because we’re awesome, that’s why.
4. We can handle 101 different jobs.
Wife, mom, scheduler, chauffer, cook, appointment maker, bill payer, housecleaner, goddess of all things. We come with a myriad of different hats, and we can switch them in the blink of an eye. We can juggle, multitask, and balance with the best of them – all while being alone.
5. We network.
Whenever we feel like we can’t do it all, or aren’t doing it well, we have a knack for asking for help from our fellow pilot wives. Whether it’s asking for a recipe, or venting about our lifestyle, pilot wives have each other’s backs. We celebrate each other’s victories, we commiserate together, and we grieve each other’s losses. We don’t judge each other; we don’t care about political stance, work vs. stay-at-home, breast vs. bottle, regional airline or mainline. It doesn’t matter where you live or where you’re from, whether you have a degree or you don’t, if you have kids or you’re newly married. Because one thing binds us together, and that is the fact that we are all in the aviation lifestyle and dealing the best we can. There’s no shortage of support with us, because we know we’re in this together.
6. We help each other.
Whether it’s trading babysitting, hosting a get-together, or helping each other run errands, when you know other pilot wives in your community, it’s a huge help. And if you can find a friend (we have a knack for this, too) who understands the aviation lifestyle and offers help, you know they’re a godsend. Whether it’s a neighbor you can call during an emergency, or another pilot wife who lives nearby, treat these friends like gold. You never know when you’ll need each other.
7. We know when we need a break.
You know that moment when you hand the kids off to your pilot and make a mad dash to Target/the nail salon/your hairdresser/get a massage? It’s a moment of pure glory. And it’s a moment every pilot’s wife deserves to have at least once a month. Has it been too long since you’ve done any of those? Time for a break my friend. Own it.
8. We support our pilots.
Studying for a checkride? We’ll handle the kids and house stuff. Had a bad day/trip? We’ll listen to them complain about crew scheduling, crappy hotel rooms, and maintenance delays with a smile and a nod. Because we are the soft place they fall, the confidante, and the soother of nerves. We know that sometimes it sucks, and that it’s awesome that we are the ones they turn to and trust to talk about the not-so-fun stuff.
9. We travel like pros.
Nobody knows the ins and outs of travel like pilot wives (besides crew members, of course). We know how to check loads, pack light, and how to dress for security. We can handle kids and car seats, and can entertain with endless games, toys, and snacks for hours if needed (because we also know the joys of traveling standby). We know how to navigate airports and can fly through terminals like nobody’s business. And we look damn good while doing it, too.
10. We handle the little stuff. And the big stuff, too.
Whether it’s managing the behind-the-scenes details at home while our husbands are gone, or dealing with big stuff like pregnancies or family loss, we are usually the first to know about and deal with crises big and small. Pilot wives know how to put on their big girl panties and deal with things, because that’s what they do best. Like a boss.
I want you to know, my fellow pilot wife, that you are a badass. You are strong and amazing and all kinds of wonderful. No wonder your pilot married you! Any time you feel like you aren’t doing a good job or you need a little pick-me-up, I want you to read this list and remind yourself why you truly are incredible. Don’t ever forget how awesome you are!
Have anything to add to this list? Comment below! I would love to hear from you.
Xoxo,
The Flight Wife
Thank you! I need to be reminded of this stuff sometimes.
Yay! I think we all do 🙂
Love this! Only pilot wives will understand the craziness that goes along with delayed flights, weather problems, plans being changed a million times. Thanks for posting this!
Thank you! I completely agree, there’s nothing quite like the aviation lifestyle. 🙂
That was very sweet and insightful. I have got to say that I give a lot of credit to to my Savior. Especially, not only being a Pilot’s wife with it’s responsibilities, but in having to learn a new culture and lifestyle. I have experienced many challenges indeed. Thanks for your love and great encouragement!!!
Thank you Denise! So glad it resonated with you 🙂
Dear Flight Wife,
YOU ROCK!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this piece. Sometimes we pilot’s wives need to remember just how capable and valuable we are.
Exactly!! And you rock too!
All good points, but in the interest of equality this applies to “pilot husbands” as well :-)….as I leave for Europe tonight on my 767 & hubby is home with our daughter, I know I don’t have to worry. Thanks to all the men out there who lift up their wives in what most would consider a non-traditional professional for women. & yes, you wives are awesome too!
You are so right!! Thank you for commenting – I love hearing from female pilots! Of course pilot husbands also rock, but you rock too, flying a 767 – wow! Have a great trip 🙂
Amen, sister Pilot! Love all of this, thanks to everyone. ❤️
Thank you!
I am a fellow pilot/pilot wife/mother. I am a pilot married to a pilot and we can do it all!!! As long as we are both LOVING, SUPPORTING, partners. It is a unique industry with amazing opportunity. Happy travels 🙂
Exactly right! Thanks so much for coming by 🙂
Agree! I am a pilot and my husband is all of these things.
That’s awesome Kerry! Nothing like having that support.
You guys rock. This must be why I could not stay in the career I loved… I did not have a Pilot’s wife. I have a husband who was incapable of even half of your list. That you makr it work says a lot about your love for your pilot. Know that you are what keeps your pilot going. Flying is a passion and your pilot loves that you support their passion.
Thank you Melinda!
thank you for this! We don’t know any other pilot families in our community and most of the people on my life think we live some sort of exotic life cause HE gets to travel all the time…it is nice to hear affirmation of the life I chose to live when I said yes to my pilot husband…. 🙂 thanks!
Oh yeah, I hear you. Everyone thinks it’s such a glamorous lifestyle, haha. Just send them here and we’ll set ’em straight. 😉
We also don’t have other pilot wives in our close community. The ones we know all live about an hour away. I am blessed to travel with my hubby because we don’t have small kids but YES, everyone thinks we have an amazing exotic life. It is exotic an amazing life but the jetlag between flights is TERRIBLE ! I now know how the guys must feel inbetween flights when they only have 3 days off inbetween.
Hi Lauren, you should check out Facebook for the pilot wives group, you can find it here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/pilotswives/. It’s a great group and you can usually find someone in your area! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Same!
Also Flight Attendants husbands rock too! My husband did a great job when I went back to work after our son was born and when I return in January (just welcomed a daughter) I have all the confidence he will do amazing then too!!!
So true!! As a former flight attendant, I couldn’t agree more! Any spouse who stays home while their partner works (or in our case, travels) is amazing! Kudos to your hubby 🙂
Thank you for writing this. I am also a pilots wife which is obviously why I read this but I was also a pilot who gave it up to stay home and raise the kids while my husband continue to fly. So sometimes it feels so hard when he is doing what I used to do and now I’m home dealing with all of the crap that comes along with being essentially a single parent most of the week. However I also get to deal with all of the wonderful things that he does not because he misses it from being away at work. I am lucky to be able to be home with the kids. But it is nice to read that other people feel the same as I do so thank you very much. Have a great day.
Wow, Jennifer, that is a huge sacrifice. I’m sure you enjoy being able to stay home with your kids, but I don’t blame you for missing it. You are honestly amazing! It takes a strong woman to leave her career and focus on kids. I think staying at home is the hardest job ever. Thank you for sharing your story, I hope you come back and visit, there’s lots more to come! I also like not feeling so alone.
I was a pilot’s wife for 30 years until my husband retired. It was not glamorous; my husband worked his butt off and I was proud to support him as much as I could. We missed holidays, anniversaries and birthdays together but we always worked together through it all. I feel very blessed to have been a pilot’s wife.
Wow, 30 years is amazing! It’s nice to hear from a veteran wife who’s been through it all. Thanks for stopping by!
What if I’m the pilot and I have a husband…?
Haha, you are awesome too of course!
See my comment above (in your shoes) :-))…..it applies to our hubbies as well
I’m the MIL and my DIL is the exemplary pilot’s wife…God bless her and God bless each one of you! We thank each one of you for your part in protecting our country and we thank you for your family’s sacrifice. God bless and keep each and every one of you, now and forever. Thank you!
DiAne Gates
DiAne, you are too kind! God bless you for being such a wonderful mother-in-law, your daughter-in-law is lucky to have you!
My husband is a pilot and I’m a trauma nurse who works night shift in a busy ER. Life gets crazy when it comes to arranging childcare and trying to find time as a couple. But as chaotic as it is, I still love it and am proud of what we do. Strong work, parents!
Wow, that is impressive! I’m going to stop complaining about not seeing my husband enough now… You should be proud! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Sounds like ALL military wives to me!
Yes your article and points about life, as a pilot’s wife, rounded up the life of that pilot’s wife’s assumed strength, quite well….What you did not mention is the complete loneliness, the tears and the loss of what married life is supposed to mean, as a couple, although the earthly benefits abound,travels in first class, monetary benefit, the loss of partnership through trying to be tough sometimes looses the reality of that loneliness,through always needing to look efficient, tidy and stylish, while competitiveness, seniority listings, always high on the agenda, create huge stress, many were falling apart. Their needing to know that it is OK to be weak sometimes, admitting that it is a hard ask to live that lonely life with children and there are many, who really need to know that they and their partner are there for each other, at all times,through all the talk, grumbling about life as a pilot and the hardship they have to go through when there are so many without a job on this earth. The competition of
believing that they are married to their god’s and how perfect everything is within their environment, while other suffer abandonment, hurt and are constantly criticised for keeping up their strength, while crumbling behind walls…Yup being a pilot’s wife will qualify many for acting school……..it’s a lonely life and noone is told that, as the perceived glamour hides that pain of loneliness……Pilot’s have good wives, but some don’t remember this……..as that strength frightens them.
Hi, my father in law was a pilot, my husband a pilot and now my son is a pilot. I agree with all your comments and love your story but can i add that pilots wives have the amazing ability to allow the ‘BOSS’ to,be the Boss when he is home but take over his duties when he leaves then step back once he returns. Our kids always knew who the real boss was !!!! But we would just say ‘yes dear, or yes Dad!!!. And our most important job was to insure when he left our home he returned to work refreshed, nourished and relaxed and ready to take his passengers home or on an exciting adventure.
Excellent points Julie! We definitely have to be in charge – my kids know who the boss is, too. My husband sometimes needs reminding, lol 🙂
True story. What a wonderful post. Thanks for the pick-me-up and support, spoken like a true pilot’s wife. ✈️
Thanks Lisa!! So glad you stopped by!
These are spot on! Thank you so much. We just moved across country to a new town, new home, new everything. We have no friends or family here. We all made the sacrifice to leave what we’ve always known to support my husband’s career. I wouldn’t have it any other way though! Well, maybe except those days the kids are driving me nuts! 🙂
That’s really hard, Melissa. Starting over is not easy at all. It’s awesome that you made that sacrifice for your family. I hope you go out and make some new friends (I always had the best luck going online). Look on Facebook for pilot wife groups, there are some really good ones!
I was the captain. He was the first officer. That was 7 years (and 2 kids) ago. I have since stopped flying because I wanted to pursue other things. I’ve seen both sides of the pilot’s life and sometimes I prefer to deal with 2 grumpy toddlers than 160 odd angry passengers because we can’t TO due to the massive thunderstorm over the runway. And sometimes I wish I was the one who’s sleep is so crucial to the job that the other one has to deal with the kids’ night time interruptions. I suppose in our situation I have the advantage of understanding exactly what it is he does. It helps a lot. Respect to all the pilot ( and flight attendants) partners out there. We rock!
That’s awesome! I totally agree that your perspective is unique and helps a great deal. As a former flight attendant I think it helps as well. And I don’t miss those passengers either, haha!
My husband was a career Air Force pilot and flew C-130’s. He was gone a lot! He missed many anniversaries and Mother’s Days. Being an Air Force wife was a tough job. However, it taught me many life lessons.
My daughter sent me this,so she must think I did a pretty good job! Reading it made me feel good about myself.
Sue, I’m so glad!! I have so much respect for military wives, thank you to you and your husband for your service! My grandmother was also an Air Force wife and she tells me stories all the time. You must have done a great job, feel free to share some of your advice!
Even though I am an Aircraft Maintenance Engineer and not a pilot, this article really hits home for me. I totally had to show it to my wife cause she is also a truly amazing woman that has to deal with so much in this aviation lifestyle of ours. My tours overseas are for at least 2 months at a time in some of the crappiest places in the world including Africa and the Middle East (Recently Mali & Afghanistan). Unfortunately what makes things harder is that we do not have the “Pilot Wife” or family support system in place that would no doubt make life much easier on my wife and my 15 month old daughter when I am away on tour.
I hope that she reads this article as well as some of the other great, helpful posts you have on your site and realizes she just how amazing she really is and that she is not alone in this.
Sean you are so sweet!! Just the fact that you give her so much credit speaks volumes. And 2 months at a time is rough. For both of you. Be sure to send her over so she knows she’s not alone – that’s the worst part I think, is believing that no one else understands. We’re here for each other! Thanks so much for commenting 🙂
Love, love, love this! Sharing and directing my fellow readers to your page to check out more!
Thanks Andrea! I can’t wait to check out your blog 🙂 I love finding other pilot wives!
This article is so awesome! Definitely should add the money struggles of a first year FO at a regional, oh and the 500 questions about “are you worried your husband is cheating on you with a FA?” lol!
Thank you Dana! Ah, yes, the first year regional FO pay – that is definitely going on the list. It’s a must! Thanks for coming by 🙂
Rated officers’ spouses in general have to juggle a lot due to the frequency of their flying spouses tdy’s, deployments, and long sorties especially in mil-to-mil households. My husband and I are both AF. While I am not a rated officer and my JAG duties as an IMA allow me more flexibility to maintain my civilian legal career, my husband has learned to fend for himself and I have learned the same but neither one of us would have it any other way. It makes the times when we get to be more of a normal couple that much more special.
So true Ashley! It really makes you appreciate being home together. Thank you and your husband for your service. I really appreciate hearing from you!
SO true! When I tell people that my husband works for an airline, the first thing they ask is, “So, is he a pilot?” Nope. He was a tech. Now he supervises the techs – for the entire company. He’s the one that makes sure the pilots everywhere CAN check their schedules. 🙂 And it means he knows LOTS of pilots.
It also means he travels about the same as pilots. Sometimes more. sometimes less. He’s home on weekends. Most of the time. Not always. And sometimes we can go with him. Not often. Because… school. Blah.
That list fits me. I wish I knew more pilot – or airline – wives. While it would be nice to have someone local, it’s good to see someone online who gets my lifestyle!
I’m glad you found me too! Stop by any time, it can definitely get lonely.
That would be my beautiful Kristin who happens to have a fantastic pilot husband!
In the middle of the night reading this article and smiling.
So recognizable!
I think we have to stand up and ask at least two weeks a year flightwife time!
Oh I think you’re on to something – let’s start a petition! 🙂
This is my Gilly!
Eighteen years as an Air Force wife, twenty years as an Airline Pilot’s wife. She bought up two boys and six dogs, moved house fourteen times to places half a world away often all on her own.
She is my ‘can do’ girl and I love her with all my heart.
❤️❤️❤️
There’s nothing sweeter than a man loving on his wife. Thanks Nick! 🙂
You would be doing this planet a great service if you would spread your ethos of living to all women….they need it!
Thanks Christopher!
I must admit…this is well said!!! Respect!!!!
Thanks Herman!
I do appreciate all pilot wives do. But must say Service wives all need
to be appreciated. Navy wives being alone for long period while husbands
are out at sea. I was an Army wife and I could tell many tales about that.l
Always said that they
got two for price of one.
Service wives especially!! I have 2 grandmothers who were service wives. One grandfather was a Navy pilot, and one was in the Air Force. I have the utmost respect for you and all service wives. Thank you and your husband for your service!
I used to fit the description of a pilot’s wife to a T. Twenty seven years and five provinces later I am still crazy about my pilot. The only difference is that since I got ill with a debilitating chronic illness over five years ago my hubby has taken on both roles. He takes care of me like the best nurse ever and still manages to get to work. He is my hero xox
Nat, that is the sweetest thing ever. I’m so sorry about your illness, that must be so hard. I’m glad you have such a supportive guy. 🙂
Agreed! 🙂
What if you are the pilot and the wife? Then you need a pilots wife in your life!!!!!
Heila that is so true! Much love to my female pilots!!
As a pilots wife of 20 years, and a fellow blogger, I can but applaud your post, which makes light of what can be such a line dancing balancing act. We are indeed a hard lot to follow, and the independence, logistics know-how, and spirit we have can only really be understood by others who have partners who work away. I have written about working away partnerships on my site (thegoodista.com) and really, really like the umph you give to us all by sharing your thoughts.
Thank you Anna! I look forward to checking out your blog! 🙂
I love my pilot and I love my pilots wife and I love their great children . I think being married to a pilot must be like being married to a salesman who is on the road five days a week. Kendi you are a rare wife/mother please do not change. Donald is very fortunate that he came to Enid and found you.
So very true. Thanks for the reminders!
Thanks Jody! 🙂
from one pilot wife to another…great post!
Thanks for stopping by Joanna! 🙂
I am married to a Pilot a year ago. I am still adjusting but trying to do my best to understand everything about his job. It is really tough but i know i can do it as long as we love each other. This is my life now as a pilot’s wife. I need to be strong,patient and independent for our children. I trust him always and im praying for his safety everytime he goes to work. My love for him is greater than the struggle caused by his chosen career. Love and faith is all we need to survive.
Well said Kate! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
So true! I packed (and unpacked) our ENTIRE house up last year while my hubs was prepping for his big interview at a mainline (OK he packed 5 boxes, gotta give the man some street cred lol). All this while chasing a 4 and 1 year old. Yup I am awesome. 😉
Hi Lauren! Yes you are! Moving is definitely not easy, especially when you do most of it yourself. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
Thanks so much for your wisdom! It’s great to have support. I have been looking for a long time for pilot wives support group. My husband has been flying airlines 7 years and some days I feel so lonely and majority days a balancing act. It’s mixed emotions of feeling competent and great that I am capable and independent and other times of feeling purely overwhelmed and isolated. Always looking for community and friends to lean on! Look forward to reading more!
Thanks Lynsey! So glad you found it and I hope you keep coming back! 🙂
I couldn’t agree more with everything on this list especially the delayed flights! I’d also include under travel that we know how to navigate the instability of Space A flights.
I am so proud of you ladies! I was married to a pilot for 15 years. Did all that you said and even helped him launch and run a business. Another pilot told him he would be happiest with an asian gal later in life. so he dumped me and married a filipina 15 years his jr. I learned so much supporting him in his career, but didn’t anticipate that none of it mattered in the end. I hope I am the exception.
wishing you all the very best. sounds like you have wonderful spouses. best
kathy