Have you felt like your marriage is in a rut lately? Or maybe that you and your pilot haven’t been as close as you have in the past? Well I have something awesome in store for you, and I can’t wait to share it!
What if I told you there was a way to get that sizzle back, to get those flames burning between you again? What if I told you there was a way to feel in love again? Would you take the challenge?
The good news is that there is a way. The better news? It’s actually fun!
Before we dive in, here’s a little history. Last year, the New York Times published an article called, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This.”
Written by Mary Len Catron, the article tested out a theory based on a study conducted by psychologist Arthur Aron over 20 years ago. The theory is that based on mutually asking 36 questions, two strangers can end up falling in love. In fact, during the study, two strangers did end up falling in love, and got married six months later. (Read the article to see what happened when Catron tried it herself.)
After reading the 36 questions, participants were made to stare into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes. What?! I know, it seems like it would be super awkward. But we’re talking about our spouses! The people we are spending the rest of our lives with, who have seen us naked and in compromising positions. We can do this, I promise. Besides, it’s based on science.
So let me ask you, are you ready to shake things up?
I know I am. Maybe it’s because I watch too much Bachelor/Bachelorette, but I feel like our dates have been kind of blah lately. We will have been married for 10 years this fall, and although we try to have at least one date a month, I can’t remember the last time it wasn’t dinner and a movie, or something similar.
I want to have fun again!
I decided to create a 3-date challenge and, using the questions from the study, see what would happen in my own marriage if I tried it myself. But not just any dates – dates that would be memorable. Dates that would bring us close again. Dates that would make our early dating dates peanut butter and jealous.
And I want you to reap the benefits.
So I’m going to start the challenge, and each week post what happens afterwards. I am putting myself up as tribute, people! You’re welcome.
How it works: You will be going on 3 (awesome) dates, each one accompanied by a series of 12 questions that are designed to get you closer. There are also rules for each date, which are below. After the questions, there is an amount of time specified for staring into each other’s eyes. (Is it weird that I’m nervous about that part?)
So, where do we start? With the rules of course. Here is the outline for the challenge:
The challenge consists of going on 3 dates, held as close together time-wise as possible. (Hey, I get it, we’re talking about pilots here.) The point is to not lose momentum. The best scenario would be completing all 3 dates within a month.
Along with each date is a series of 12 questions, to be read and discussed by both of you during the second portion of the date.
Remember to keep the date a secret – you want it to be a surprise!
Some things to note – You can totally be creative with this! For instance, a “meal at a place you’ve never been before” can be a picnic at a park, or takeout you bring to a drive-in movie. It doesn’t have to be super expensive, but it does need to have effort behind it. You want to show your spouse that they are still worth putting effort into, because they are! So have fun with it, and get creative.
If you want some date ideas, check out these 35+ ideas for dates with your pilot that are fun and a great way to spend time together.
- Planned by you. (Keep it a secret!)
- Must include an activity that neither of you have ever done before.
- Must include a meal away from home.
- During dinner, (or afterwards) read and discuss the first set of questions.
- Set a timer, and look into each other’s eyes for 2 minutes.
- Planned by your husband. (Keep it a secret!)
- Must include a different activity that neither of you have ever done before.
- Must include a meal at a place you’ve never been before.
- After the date, find a quiet place and read the second set of questions.
- Set a timer, and look into each other’s eyes for 3 minutes.
- Planned together.
- Must include a themed dinner at home. (Italian, Mexican, etc.)
- Must include a game you play of your choice.
- After playing, find a quiet place and read the third set of questions.
- Set a timer, and look into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes.
Our first date is this weekend and I can’t wait to share how it goes. I planned something fun and definitely different than our normal dates, and my husband keeps pestering me about what we’re doing. It’s actually really fun keeping him in the dark and it’s giving us both something to look forward to.
So, are you in?
If you’re ready to shake things up in your marriage, join us in the dating challenge and see where it takes you! I can’t wait to hear what happens! Get ready for part 2 next week…
The Flight Wife